Asana Kitchen: Yogi’s Predicament of the Peacock and Ego

It is a stunning moment when a peacock causes his feathers to lift up behind his small body, like a grand fan they spread outwards and upwards in an impressive semi-circle. Another remarkable feature of the displayed feathers is that they are ‘deployed’ into position by muscles in the peacock’s tail. He also makes them vibrate and produce a characteristic hum. Once his feathers are on display he struts about with the demeanor of a warrior, a lover, or noble king confidently searching for his queen. He appears to eagerly enjoy being the center of attention drinking in the awe and delight in the eyes of those (especially the ladies) who are fortunate enough to catch the show.

But imagine a shy peacock who would flush red with embarrassment at the thought of boldly and proudly displaying his feathers. And unfortunately, there is an all or nothing aspect to it, the effect is lost if he tentatively or self-consciously lifts up and spreads out his wares. He must be confident and bold if he wants to properly use the equipment that the creator gave him. Indeed getting a mate depends upon him exploiting this primary resource to the fullest. Since the precise purpose of those feathers is to draw as much attention to him as possible, he must not remain shy or try to be inconspicuous.

But he must walk a razor’s edge with his ego. He could view the whole matter shallowly as though beauty were only a matter of plumage and strut. Then he would merely lift up his feathers in vain, as if only to say look at me, me, me because it’s all about me, me, me. But clearly this attitude will send out the wrong signal, and cause him to fail in achieving his purpose. Authentic beauty requires more than ego expression.

The peacock expressing himself in his own original way with full confidence is automatically attractive, no need for an extra push from the ego. No matter what he physically looks like he will be beautiful when he expresses himself from an honest, natural place within. A charisma, an energetic magnetism, a spell casting charm will emerge.

And our predicament is the shy peacock’s predicament. We are shy about expressing ourselves where shyness does not belong and must be overcome. We are self-conscious where remaining self-conscious is not an option if we want a spiritual life. Boldness and confidence are what we must tap if we want to grow and attract the people, experiences, and circumstances that are worth attracting.

This means that each of us must continually take our turn at being the butt of the ongoing cosmic joke. We must enjoy being the recipient of the proverbial “pie in the face’. Playing the role requires putting ourselves in uncomfortable circumstances where we must leap, risk, feel foolish or awkward, dumb or incompetent while on display. And though it appears playing this role remains a life-long condition for learning and growth, skill in self-expression does come, we do learn to show our plumage in all its glory, to strut our stuff, to find what is within us that we are meant to give voice to and to share.