Gestures and Doubt

Sansaya (doubt) is one of the 9 obstacles that clouds the mind and thwarts practice. Skepticism, cynicism, jadedness, lack of trust, fear of trust, worry, anxiety, anticipating the worst, finding the worst, all of these are reflective of doubt. Practice is your laboratory, your micro world, and you work with your doubt on your mat by making every transition a mudra, a gesture.

Part of what makes a gesture different than a movement is a confidence and faith you have in the movement. A faulty gesture is one that is hesitating, doubtful, and lacks confidence. All the moments in practice where you hesitate are expressions of doubt. You want to use repetition to learn to communicate surety and confidence through very clear, purposeful, confident moves. Repetition is meant to teach you that. You are working to encounter your doubt; movement doubt, energetic doubt, mental doubt. Through making every transition a gesture that then translates into the attitudes you take towards your work, relationships and life. 

When encountering doubt, it doesn’t mean you jump to blind faith. If we build up a false faith because we think we should then the doubt is still there. You don’t want to just squash doubt. You recognize it, recognize its force within you and the strength of your doubt. Somehow you are trying to change it from this mundane negative play out to this sacred play out. It is something to know, to regard, and embrace with curiosity.

If you are experiencing a lot of doubt in your practice right now then I encourage you to journal and ask yourself these three questions.

1) What is this doubt?
2) What am I doubting?
3) How can I flip this into something positive?